Feel It!!!

  "You are beautiful" the words came out of his mouth and immediately her eyes sparkled up. The music in the background started fading as they both continued to look at each other, completely forgetting that they were dancing.  I want to kiss you, he asked. She smiled and then playfully asked if I say yes, can I kiss you back too?  Yes! Yes! Yes! You can kiss me as long as you feel like Sweety. I am yours forever. By this time they were close enough to feel each other's breath. He could even hear her heart pounding hard and without even realising they were kissing eachother.

  Accepting ourselves for what we are is always very difficult as we all have this beautiful image of our own self. So, when we take a conscious choice to pause our over speeding life and look inside us, we realize our self worth.  The more we look for validation from others the more it becomes hard to put up with bad behaviours and ego. It's hurts, it makes you cry and seems like there is no end to this sadness. Helplessness surrounds you and only loneliness gives you company, where you can barely feel anything. You so want to cry out loud right now, loud enough to shut all the noises in your brain, but then you know it's not possible  Sometimes people get stuck is an unending phase of tolerance with a hope that there will be a "better moment" in the "next moment".  I wish surreal reality was the only reality 

 A set retirement age of 60 years is a norm that has been developed to ease out people's live in general. But certainly there are people who could be benefitted from an early retirement age.  Retirement is all about having a normal life at old age. As we hear a lot nowadays that age is just a number, it is not exactly that for our body. Once we start ageing , things that were once easy to do could be very difficult or sometimes impossible to acheive at all. At times along with body , our mind also starts to function less than before. So, the standard retirement age can be too late for many. At rare cases, some people who are very active even after 60 years of age, will still be in a position to work.For example people engaged in sports activities might retire from their careers and still be working as coaches.  Early age retirement option would be a boon for people with poor health, and also for people who have to do a lot of physically exhausting work. For people who wor...

We all want to leave our impression on people we meet or interact with. Ever thought that people identify you based on the region you are born, how you live and also the languages you speak. Most of the time language could be one of the constraints while we are interacting with people from different regions. But communication actually needs no language. Communication is all about the vibes and energy that you generate within you.  Good communication is directly proportional to your ability to compromise. There would be very rare occasions where two people with different ideology or difference of opinion had a good discussion, it would always turn out into a debate. But as soon as one of them starts to agree with the other person the tone of the conversation will be smoother. The more you compromise, the more people love you. Your goodness will be treated as your weakness and it will be considered that you are gullible. There is always a threshold for everything, one fine day you mi...

 Some days are really peaceful, not because of any particular reason. They are peaceful because your are able to enjoy the moment as it is. It's all about how you are perceiving all the events of the day that makes you experience the true essence of calmness inside you.  I was always fond of glow worms, one of the most mesmerizing moments of my childhood is when the garden used to be filled with glow worms in the night. It always felt, as if a bunch of stars just came down on the ground. I lost this experience to growing up, the more number of years I added on to my age, more the priorities of life shifted to things which were superficial. It's gets dark everyday even now, I take out sometime to sit on the water tank of my 24 storey apartment. The horizon of the city keeps glowing with light, as if millions of glow worms are marching all around. The mind keeps on asking which was better? The glow worms, the smell of fresh flowers, the cold breeze or the city lights and the fas...

No matter what, just smile. The mother told this to her little girl. The girl started crying louder and louder after listening to this. Agreed, she was too young to understand the depth of the saying.  Years passed and her mother's saying started to ring in her ears again and again. It started to make so much sense to her.  Nobody likes to be there with you when you are crying, it's a difficult thing to handle. Not all have that strength. Your tears are taken as a sign of weakness, which very few know is actually a symbol of bravery. It takes enough guts to cry out, to be oblivious of what the entire world will think about you, to accept yourself for who you are. I really don't know in which world are we living in, where we learn to tame a entire tsunami of emotions and portray a calm, contend and fake smile. Smile, thats when you will be accepted by others.

एहसास हूँ मैं, रहने दो अपने साथ गुज़र तोह वक़्त भी जाता है, न ढलने दो दिन के साथ थोड़ा मैंने थोड़ा तुमने, जो सीचा है एक एक पल ठहर जाने दो उन लम्हों को, रहने दो माथे पे दाग यह लाल कुछ तुम देखो कुछ हम देखे, खो जाने दो लफ़्ज़ों को आज हाथों में यह हाथ रहे, ऐसा हो रिश्तों का साज़ एहसास हूँ मैं, रहने दो अपने साथ गुज़र तोह वक़्त भी जाता है, न ढलने दो दिन के साथ

  Life is so vast and dreams are too many. Ever realised that you are always short of something? Before we could even appreciate what we have, we crib for something more. Something for the future is a constant, while been unaware of even the next moment or the nearest future. When you think you have enough to give out only to realise that you are exhausted and you need replenishment, is that moment of truth that awakes you from the dream of a perfect relationship. There is no perfect relationship, it is that one person with a lot of imperfections, who makes it perfect. There is always more expectation from that person to give more and more every passing day with no or negligible recognition for the contributions. The surreal illusions of the future over powers the beauty of the present. 

 She left him long back, all alone to suffer in the darkness of his life. Loneliness started to penetrate his entire body like swords, the walls made loud enough noises to make him deaf. But he still kept breathing with the hope that he might be able to over come this phase. Struggling to get back his life energy and breathing through each day to feel better was the only thing he had with him. He kept on knocking on all the closed doors, just to figure those were not for him. Only if one of these doors opens up, "I will be able to see her". Little that he knew that she was gone forever. We never realise the value of breath till the time you are dead. Sometimes this same breath gives you immense pain as it doesn't let you die. She is his entire world, a dream that he always wanted to live. Tears kept on rolling down his cheeks, body kept of shivering in pain and his mind kept on chattering ' did you even love me once?'

 Another day failed you, left you hopeless and  As the day approaches night, your hope for another better day diminishes. A lost soul roaming around, with no idea where to go, nothing to look upto. Why me? Is the only question that keeps ringing in your mind again and again Everyone has their own battle to fight and own reason to live for. The only thing that we forget is it's our own, no body can share it with us. Expectation of a shared pain is the cause for more pain, which we fail to understand. It's not the first day you are crying to sleep and unfortunately not the last day,there are many more nights to come.

 Are u tired? Because you are running in my mind, is such a cliched pick up line, but what if, he is actually running in your mind all the time. Babes are you traveling alone, a message blinked on her phone. Alone.. oh yes.. but actually no.. I feel you are around. May be this is what people call connection or love. Nothing seperates you, not even distance. They clicked at the first meet, small talks to conversation, conversation to meeting, happened one after the other very swiftly. The more they started exploring each other then matched like the broken pieces of a puzzle. "You are so like me" is a constant for them. Ask me what's bothering me a lot every day? He asked. I don't know, you have to Tell me baby. Whether you will come home to me tonight after office or go back to your place. If you won't come tonight, then when will be the next that I get to see you. She laughs and says it's just 12 hours that you have seen me. I am sure you can wait longer. 

Let's close our eyes for a minute and think is everything in our mind? Some people think they are so smart, that they can cheat others, harass, sometime molest or even defame them. It's all done with the virtue in mind that nobody other that him will ever understand.  But that's not the truth, the person who has to suffer clearly understands. Sometimes they protest, sometimes they choose not to, just to maintain their own peace and dignity and sometimes they are too weak to protest. But that doesn't mean wrong is/was not done. A gentleman/woman is a person of his/her words, but when words are in the air and action is different what do you call them? Again it's all in the mind, perception is so relative that it can never to measured with any parameters. Men who swear on god to protect their own sisters during the holy festival of Rakhsha Bandhan goes out and rapes other's daughters and sisters. Does women life have no value? Are they just commodity, like free goo...

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word "walls"? Pause your super busy life for a few seconds and think.  We are all born in between four walls of a hospital, nursing home or sometimes our own home. Walls which are made of brick and mortar. These lifeless structures capture emotions for generations together. Structurally it is just an enclosed space, but that same place has made people cry in joy after holding the new born for the first time or made you cry in agony and grief after losing your loved one. Most of our lives we spend in between the four walls, grow up in our home, go to school and stay in between the walls of the class. The walls hold memories of our childhood forever, we also share these walls with others. The older we become the number of walls increases, some our visible, some are not.  Some walls are tangible while other are inside us. The ones that we built in our mind. The tangible walls gives us security while the ones which...

  Switzerland - the best honeymoon destination was my vacation destination before my  - 'called off marriage' 💁  The way to Bernese Alps started from the city, which I always wanted to visit; Zurich. A few years back I wanted to do my Post Grads from ETH university, Zurich, which did not materialize due to unplanned approaches.  Bollywood has a great role to play here; I imagined Zurich as they showed in the famous Hindi movie 'DDLJ' - where Europe tour was the attraction. Zurich was not exactly the same as shown in the movie. But on our way to Bernese Alps we could actually see the cows wearing the Famous Swiss Cow bell, the beautiful valley, the blue sky and Jungfrau Mountain or the Alpine Ranges. Switzerland has an amazing public transport network, be it Swiss Rail, Bus Service, Trams or Boats. It also offers a Swiss Travel Pass for all tourist with an unlimited travel plan for a limited period of time. You can travel through out Switzerland, visit at least 500 ...

It was the same day a year back I felt I am dead for a few minutes. Those minutes happened in such a slow motion, that I remember every detail of it till today. The feeling was that of terrible pain which was unbearable and beyond any words.  That was the last day I drove a car, I smiled genuinely and I had planned for the next day. I think that's the beauty of death, you don't know when it will come, I never knew next day might not happen to me at all. Had to attend an invitation in Tirupati, Andhra Pradesh ( I guess most people knows about Tirupati because of the famous lord Balaji temple). I am an atheist, so inspite of being quite a regular visitor to Tirupati never went for a 'darshan' at the temple. May be this is what Telugu people call 'papam' - sins. 14 months down the line it's easier to crack a joke on the situation which was unbearable at the real time. Accidents are accidents, you can never define why that happened, but from that fraction of sec...

Baby, will you please listen to me. My heart can't keep pumping all the blood for you while I need all of it up in my brain right now. There are deadlines to meet or I am dead. The ecstasy that we shared last night had kept both of us in trance till now, and the feeling just won't go.   Two made for eachother people in a perfect relationship looks hopelessly in eachother's eyes to estimate the expiration date of their relationship. He explains, it's not that we never had a break up before, the only thing that differentiates our relationship with all the previous ones, is that we didn't know it has an expiry date. Why not make use of each moment with this special feeling, till we are not seperated.  Can we actually be seperated at heart, she started  weeping silently. He knew exactly what it means , reading between her lines was his favourite. He had no answer to this, knowing the truth for a fact. His eyes were watery and red , but he kept on smiling so that he can ...

 During the most difficult times, I feel a small ray of hope, or the realisation that there is something much much bigger than our tiny self exists and he is going to pull us out from this mess, is the constant food for life. You die when your hopes die, sometime in reality and sometimes metaforically.  It's easy to click pictures with rural background and smiling faces and calling ourselves as social workers whereas it is so much more difficult to live that life. You know the pain behind their smile and hard work behind those green lands and difficulties in those remoteness.  A urban planner by education and a development sector professional had to deal with the pandemic like every other person. No, I didn't suffer from covid yet, but I saw the pain that the poor people had to go through during the unending lockdowns. There are Times you decide who will get a pack of food today and who can wait, are you god, NO. Desperate situations helpless solutions. For people who don...

 Days are bearable while the night are killing, and I am surviving an emotional battle inside. Waking up to a bright morning knowing that it will be gloomy and dark in a couple of hours, l guess people live only for those few hours. It's the acceptance of the truth that gives them strength, makes them smile and hold their tears or may be it's just hope that tomorrow will be better. Each of us are in a personal war space. Many people are starving and seeing their children cry in hunger during this pandemic, while others are oblivious of whatever is happening around. 

Doctors say it's trauma pain, even I would like to believe that and live with that so called truth. But in vain, neither its a trauma pain, nor can I get rid of it. May be many people like me who have happened to survive fatal accidents or violence goes through a similar pain, and the society in the name of console termed it trauma pain.  Yes it's is a pain caused by trauma, but not a trauma pain. Every night is a struggle and the pain doesn't let you sleep.The trauma is long gone, the pain hasn't.  Live your pain is just a better version of live in pain.

It's not one of the best feelings, but it is one that doesn't pass.. only if it was soothing, things would have just being more beautiful.. a life, which can find beauty in every little thing has started to fade away is dismal.. mind has nothing to imagine.. blank mind is said to be the first step to salvation, trust me it's not always true. At times it could be a sign of fear.. fear of all the things which might turn out to be true, which you are scared to even imagine. One part of your heart is still smiling being nostalgic about what you were and the other part is torn apart with the realisation of new you. You pop in another sleeping pill, lie down dead on your bed just to fall asleep. Thinking you would never wake up tomorrow, and the AC in your room will keep you cool for the next couple of days atleast.. those will be the most peaceful days, a mini vacation with no phone calls, no messages and absolutely no bondage.. it's will be freedom from everything even your...